FeelingGoodWithSofy

I HAVE SPECIFIC LEARNING DISORDERS (SpLDs)

Hello👋🏻 😊 to everyone 🙂 !!

In this article, I will open the argument about having SPECIFIC LEARNING DISORDERS (SpLDs) where I will be TALKING ABOUT MY STORY…❤️.

My story, in this article, goes from elementary school, to middle school, meaning I will share some episodes, thoughts with you.

Further on I will eventually take up other episodes of this period & I will write about high-school.

First of all, do you know what a specific learning disorder is (SLD)?

Once again, I am no doctor, specialist, BUT a patient, so if you do not understand… ask someone who knows, (for ex.) or search it by yourself ! 🙂

So, specific learning disorders are neurodevelopmental disorders based by persistent difficulties in acquiring and using academic skills such as reading (DYSLEXIA), writing (DYSGRAPHIA), math (DYSCALCULIA)disorder…

So, the MAIN specific learning disorders are DYSLEXIA, DYSGRAPHIA & DYSCALCULIA. 

I have DYSCALCULIA & DIFFICULTY COMPREHENDING TEXTS. Comprehending, understanding texts is also a learning disorder. 

I will begin by telling you that:

I STRUGGLED ALL THROUGH SCHOOL, ALL THROUGH SCHOOL. (“Do you also recognize yourself in what I just said? Like a lot or in the middle…?”) ❤️❤️.

I was already at age six scared about school, the environment, I wasn’t feeling comfortable with my classmates, teachers (especially with some teachers).

• Another article, (as I already mentioned in some of my latest articles) will be about: ASKING FOR HELP IS NEVER A SIGN OF FAILURE).

• (SOCIAL ANXIETY will be another IMPORTANT THEME to talk about).

Besides from that,(not feeling at ease at school…) I noticed that I had difficulties comprehending texts, in particularly related to math. At the age of six solving math problems was already a battle for me.  

A speech therapist came to me at home for about a year and half (6-7 years old), once a week for doing extra school exercises. I struggled, there also grew my internal suffering because I didn’t feel good enough & the teacher was sometimes or more than sometimes NOT SO PATIENT WHEN I DID WRONG and my highly sensitive personality did not make things better.

I am grateful for her help… BUT inside I felt miserable.

It’s important to remember that : “We are all so different with different personalities, potentialities, difficulties…” and do not compare yourself to others! Something that I am still really struggling with (although it’s better now…) especially in the past and I am learning that BEING UNIQUE IS AMAZING 🙂 !

Teachers at primary school thought it was wise at the age of eight to do some tests at a neuropsychiatry to see if I had problems, and yes I was diagnosed with difficulty comprehending texts & a light difficulty in numbers, math. The people who ran the tests back then made also mistakes because I’VE BEEN HAVING DYSCALCULIA FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. Dividing, multiplying… It was and still is a real struggle for me.

I felt very ashamed at school, especially when I didn’t understand a task immediately, as the other ones and had at the end to sit besides a teacher, (unfortunately not the kindest, patient ones) or go to the blackboard just to get even more embarrassed, anxious and I had to force myself not to cry even if, many times I cried a lot especially at home, where no one there could judge me.

Many times I was very ashamed because many of my classmates were already done with their tasks that our teachers gave us to do at school and I was too shy, scared to ask for help and I ended up crying where everyone saw and no one (or rarely) came to my help. 

I cried a lot when math teachers (for ex.) told me I haven’t done exercises correctly. I tried always my best to keep up with my classmates… I felt in a way inadequate, inapropriate. 

At the end of each year at primary school when I saw my school report I felt like a failure seeing many subject marks low. I AM GRATEFUL, that ENGLISH HAS ALWAYS BEEN my STRENGTH ,so not all marks were bad BUT SCHOOL HAS ALSO BEEN A BIG FACTOR OF MY LOW SELF ESTEEM.

Growing up, in middle school, I began to be stricter with myself, I wanted to be at the same level as my classmates (except for English…fortunately!) even if It was really hard many times.

My self-esteem continued to decrease over time

I studied a lot, I rarely took breaks after school due to my anxiety to finish homeworks in time. I received many sixes and sevens which is more than fine, but I never felt good enough inside. One day I got a science assignment back where I had gotten a nine, and THE PROFESSOR TOLD ME: “Well done Sofia! SEE?! IF YOU JUST STUDY MORE, THE RESULTS WILL COME! I was very proud of myseld at that moment…BUT THEN, even now when I think about it, HER WORDS REALLY HURT ME, BECAUSE THE PROFESSOR HAVEN’T SEEN, APPARANTLY ALL THE EFFORT I had put into many other of her tests. If you struggle a lot in an academic area, for ex. getting a seven is fantastic BUT A SIX IS ALSO AMAZING! That’s what my previous therapist was trying to explain to me, several times.

MY THOUGHTS NOW REGARDING TEACHERS/PROFESSORS…: I believe that teachers/professors, generally speaking I mean, so not every teacher, should learn from the very beginning of their career to be understanding or more understanding in front of, in this case, a child who has learning disorders and help him/her the best they can.  Encourage the pupil by saying to him/her :”Good job, well done!”

Looking back I can really say that I was very fortunate that I had other people helping me preparing for a school test, homeworks BUT NOT EVERYONE HAS THIS FORTUNE.

Mostly at middle school, for ex. in math, I received always the same tests as the other ones and no matter the big support I got outside from school I almost always ended up having a bad mark, teachers were not so satisfied with me and even if my parents…were supportive, I felt in the end discouraged, not enough and SO UNHAPPY.

My deep thoughts about this topic

What I have clearly seen throughout my school years were that many teachers, professors did not understand me, they would tell my mom that Sofia is doing good, we understand her, when in reality, many times it was the (complete) opposite. Example: as I already mentioned math professor giving me the exact same tests as the other ones. 

HAVING LEARNING DISORDERS HAVE ALSO BEEN THE CAUSE OF MY LONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION (I still struggle (with depression) even if I am not at school anymore, of course there are also other factors involved..). I can’t COUNT how many times I got anxious, then bursted into tears & then slowly through time my mood got very low. I’ll continue talking..in my next upcoming articles!

If you also struggle and feel that teachers, professors, or others do not understand you, please seek support!

NO MATTER IN WHICH SITUATION YOU FIND YOURSELF IN, REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WORTHY, WORTHY OF LOVE, WORTHY OF SUPPORT, WORTHY OF HAPPINESS…

Much Love

Sofia Lena

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