FeelingGoodWithSofy

Trigger warning: if you’re currently facing mental health challenges, parts of this article might be difficult to read. However, it also contains empowering insights to support you on your journey. The decision to keep reading is entirely yours. ❤️❤️

Holding everything inside can become a truly painful struggle over time. Maybe the people around you see that you are unwell, but for some reason, you refuse to tell the truth and get help. You might be too frightened that things could get worse if you speak up, even though you feel completely alone. You don’t want others to know what is bothering you, and there is a voice within you saying it’s best to just leave it be—that telling the truth will only hurt more. You’re not alone; I know perfectly well how this feels, too. ❤️

Why Speaking up Could Be So Challenging…

There is no single answer as to why a person decides to keep everything inside while struggling; everyone has their own reasons. However, there are general experiences we all face from time to time like the difficult emotions and fears that come with personal struggle. Two of these painful emotions are shame and guilt. When you face certain traumatic life events and feel immense shame about what has happened to you, you might prefer to keep the reasons behind your silence from those you trust.

Another reason that might lead to silence is the pain of not being believed when all you’re doing is telling the raw truth. I struggled with this heavily. When I realized that neither my parents nor my previous therapist believed I was being severely bullied in high school, I stopped bringing up other painful aspects of my life. Fear of the consequences is another reason you might prefer not to speak up. Fear truly fuels silence; it can make staying quiet feel more comfortable and protected than sharing the truth.

A Piece of My Story… ❤️

Sharing Raw Moments

I battled in silence several times in my life, and the first time it happened was in primary school; I was 10 at the time, and I struggled immensely to keep up with school and homework, while at the same time being extremely fearful of my math teacher. I truly hated math because I have dyscalculia, and it didn’t make things any better knowing that she was strict and unfeeling. It felt like she had something against me; I was the one who always had to go up to the blackboard, and the one who always had to answer her questions. She would yell at me or reprimand me even for things that made little sense. I was frightened to make any kind of mistake when she was around. She made me feel so wrong, and I was filled with shame and humiliation, with tears running down my face.

Being a kid who was struggling so much, I ended up telling no one the real problem behind my suffering, not even my previous therapist. I felt so trapped in my own silence, hopelessness, and sadness that I found it pointless to tell the truth. Moreover, I was terrified something bad would happen if I spoke up.

Some Reflections…

Looking back, I can say that I didn’t feel ‘safe’ telling my parents what was troubling me. They knew something was wrong; I had so many absences, pretending I had stomach aches while refusing to let them know the real truth. My current therapist shared a reflection with me a couple of years ago. She noted that back then, I had very little confidence in adults. I was also so young at the time, which made it even harder to express my emotions to the people around me.

Rising From the Ashes

If any of this sounds familiar, know that it’s not your fault if you ended up battling in silence. Sharing our struggles with someone else is not always comfortable or easy; it’s not as if we’re talking about the weather. Confinding in someone takes an incredible amount of resilience and strength. It can feel intimidating to talk about what has dimmed your light, but whenever you feel ready, please speak up. You’re only hurting yourself more when you keep it all inside. Make sure to talk to someone who takes you seriously and whom you can rely on, like a professional therapist or a trusted family member. ❤️

No matter your scars and wounds, know there is someone out there who deeply cares for you and wants to help you, even if it takes time. Your resilience and your light will always be there for you, even when you feel weak and misunderstood. Speaking up is the first step towards healing, and remember: you rise each time you let a loyal person know how you feel, showing a strength that should never be taken for granted. ❤️

Much Love and Light ❤️✨

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